Sometimes, it can be too late.

I found out over Twitter yesterday that one of my journalism instructors, Cynthia Brouse, died after battling breast cancer for years.

I wasn't sure how to feel. Sadness, of course, but mostly I was in shock. For nearly a year, there has been a letter addressed to Cynthia Brouse, sitting in the drafts folder of my email account. In it, I try to articulate how grateful I was for that one day in 3rd year university when she took me out into the hallway before her copy editing and fact checking class to tell me that she saw I had leadership potential  for the Ryerson Review of Journalism, the major magazine I could create with my peers the following year if I stayed within the magazine stream.

I struggled enormously with that decision, and in the end, largely because Cynthia had said out loud to me what I was feeling, I chose the RRJ and 4th year turned out to be not only one of the best learning experiences I had to date, but I formed important bonds and relationships with people I don't think I would have otherwise.

I learned a long time ago that if you have something good to say about a person, you should probably say it in that moment, no matter how silly it may seem or how embarrassed you may feel. Last summer, it dawned on me suddenly if it weren't for those five minutes Cynthia took with me, the remainder of my university career may have turned out very differently—and my love for magazines may not have been as fostered as it was if I had not immersed myself in the Ryerson Review. So I sat down to write Cynthia a thank-you email, knowing she was a religious email checker and responder.

But for whatever reason, I never felt the words were right. I couldn't finish writing what I started. Other things came up in my life, and I thought Cynthia would be there. I would finish it eventually and she'd know just how significant she was in my magazine journalism education. Instead, I'm staring at a Tweet, reading the words "RIP Cynthia Brouse," knowing there is a thank-you letter sitting in my email account that will never be sent and will be there forever, incomplete.

"We work in the dark—we do what we can—we give what we have. Our doubt is our passion, and our passion is our task. The rest is the madness of art."

-Henry James

"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance."

 -Japanese proverb

Banana leafs and dosas

It was my last day in Kuala Lumpur. Everyone at my hostel said they ate fantastic food at this Indian place around the corner. So I went there for lunch and dinner.

I wasn't even sure what I was ordering for lunch. I saw people eating lots of interesting curries off a banana leaf, and I wanted a banana leaf as a plate too. I was too shy to ask for a fork, so cleansed with Purell, I ate with my hands. There was way more food on the plate than shown above. Servers kept coming around with silver pots, scooping mounds of unidentifiable dishes on to my leaf; and seeing how my right hand had now become my utensil, it was impossible to take more photos, lest I wanted to be licking curry off my screen.

I've never eaten rice with my hands before. In the summer, I was convinced by an Atlantic article to eat salad with my hands; but after experiencing rice, I'm not quite convinced. The stickiness and dirtiness of my hands afterward is too much. But it was fun!

At dinner, I went overboard by ordering a roti and a dosa. Those are my two plates at the bottom. The top plate was my friend's vegetable curries.

Despite my truly magical enormous appetite, I could not finish my double dosage meal.

By the way, lunch and dinner only cost me CDN$6 each meal (total). No tax or tip necessary.

I never knew...

...that they drink out of plastic bags in Kuala Lumpur. (And other Asian countries.)

Eating in Kuala Lumpur's Chinatown

I'm Chinese, and grew up with a father who is an amazing cook, and I ate great homemade Chinese food all my life. Then I visited Kuala Lumpur's Chinatown, ate one dinner and said, "I've never eaten Chinese food in my life before till now."

I met up with a friend of a friend from Toronto, and his girlfriend, who was actually from Kuala Lumpur and lived there most of her life. She took us to an ordinary-looking restaurant in Chinatown with plastic cups, bowls and chopsticks. Then she ordered us one of the most delicious meals of my life.

In the bottom right-hand corner is marmite chicken; to the left is spicy fried pork, and up top is garlic-sauteed bok choy. All incredibly simply dishes that were so ridiculously flavourful. You get sweet and savoury, and saucy, and crunch, with garlic and veggies, and I love when food has so many layers.

I never knew Chinese food could have so many layers.

Caplansky's

356 College St.
Toronto, ON
(416) 500-3852
www.caplanskys.com
Date Visited: Sunday March 14, 2010

Before Caplansky's had its College Street opening, I read and heard a lot about how wonderful the smoked meat was. How it was -- get this -- Toronto's answer to Montreal's Schwartz's! Uh, skeptical? Yeah, I certainly was. (And my pitiful Schwartz's post needs a new one because two summers ago we had a smoked meat taste test in Montreal that needs to be documented properly.)

When we sat down for lunch, I was tempted to order the BBQ Brisket on a Bun ($8) but decided the good ol'7 oz. smoked meat on rye (also $8) needed to be tasted before anything else.

Verdict? I liked but I didn't love. The meat was dry in some places and then too much fat in others. There was something off about the rye bread as well. I'm a stickler when it comes to my carbs. Oddly, I don't think the bread was dry enough. (How is that even possible...) And of course, the seasoning was nothing special, and for all you Schwartz's fans out there, you know it's Schwartz's spicy, peppery seasoning that takes its meat above and beyond.

Oh well. Maybe next time I'll try the BBQ brisket. Good atmosphere though, and servers are extra accommodating.

Iron Cupcake Toronto

I'm not a huge fan of cupcakes but one of my closest friends, Stephanie, is. (In fact, there's a crazy personalized NYC cupcake tour posting that still needs to be written...) So when I heard the Liberty Village cupcake shop, For the Love of Cake, was hosting Toronto's first Iron Cupcake competition, and that the secret ingredient was going to be beer in honour of St. Patrick's Day, I decided we should go.

It was chaotic and packed but we somehow wound up relatively close to the front of the line when they started handing out the mini cupcakes. This is how it worked:

• Each person had a ticket with 4 of 16 numbers on it, and so you were judging four of sixteen cupcakes.
• The other side of your ticket listed all 16 numbers, and you judged visually who you thought had the most aesthetically pleasing cupcake display, aligned with the St. Patty's Day theme of green.

Cover was $5, and it included the four mini cupcakes plus tea was being given out for free. I felt a little jipped because apparently No. 4 had some sort of accident. My friend heard "baking accident"; I heard car. I hope it wasn't car.

The one in the upper left-hand corner was No. 15 and the ultimate judges' winner. It was also the one Steph chose as her favourite -- I think mainly because the cream cheese topping really pushed that particular cupcake to a higher state of deliciousness. The one in the upper right-hand corner, No. 16, was People's Choice and had my favourite visual presentation.

The baker called it "Morning After St. Patty's Day." As you can see, there are little Guinness "cans" spread around the bed and even a mini Advil box on the nightstand. Now that is some serious creativity and theme dedication.

We also liked this cheese spread one, though it's difficult to make out the cupcake in this shot. (It's underneath the pretzel sticks.)

For the most part, all the cupcakes we sampled were very good. It was funny to sit on a floor, at a little table, swapping these mini baked goods and trying to debate the finer points of why one may be better than the other. Except for one of Steph's cupcakes, I couldn't really taste the beer component in any of them. But I think it would be fun to experiment next time I whip up my own batch.

Apple pie

I'm deleting photos from my hard drive and noticed this photo filed under the "Food Blog" folder, but no post of it. I probably Twitpic-ed it and let it go.

This pie was made back way back in October, you know, prime pie-making apple season. I cheated and bought frozen Tenderflake pastry, using the second pie sheet as the top, which is why it looks so odd and bubbly. It still tasted delicious though. I used Canadian Living's "Best-Ever Apple Pie" filling recipe.

Next time, I'll make the pastry from scratch... maybe.

"Who'd you rather be? The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?"

This song always makes me feel so damn amazing.